My Mental Health

Mental health is a weird thing to talk about because I'm trying to tell you what's wrong with me but some of the things that I think are normal are really quite messed up, I mean a blind guy knows he's blind but does a mentally ill man know he's mentally ill? I know I have issues, I have my whole life, but with proper care and medication I've always been able to live a life with happiness, love, positive outlook, independence, compassion, and humility. I've been happy and been unhappy, that's part of being human. I think my medication and my environment are both key factors that work together to keep me happy and healthy.

My Mental Health Prescriptions

I take 300 milligrams of extended release Lamotragine twice a day. Lamotrigine is used alone or with other medications to treat epileptic seizures. Lamotrigine is also used to delay mood episodes in adults with bipolar disorder (manic depression) and it warns that he may have suicidal thoughts. So, the medication makes me think about committing suicide, but it puts me in a good mood?

I take 600 milligrams of Lithium Carbonate every morning and 900 milligrams every night. It works to stabilize the mood and reduce extremes in behavior by restoring the balance of certain natural substances (neurotransmitters) in my brain. Some of the benefits include decreasing how often my manic episodes occur and decreasing the symptoms of manic episodes such as exaggerated feelings of well-being, feelings that others wish to harm you, irritability, anxiousness, loud fast speech, and aggressive and hostile behaviors.

I take 200 milligrams of Quentapine Fumarate XR which is used to treat certain mental conditions such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, sudden episodes of mania or depression associated with bipolar disorder. Quetiapine is known as an anti-psychotic drug. It works by helping to restore the balance of certain natural substances (neurotransmitters) in the brain. It can decrease hallucinations and improve concentration.

I also take 40 milligrams of Propranolol twice a day for anxiety.

My Mental Health Conditions

I have Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that causes unexpected and often dramatic shifts in mood. I have manic episodes where I becomes irritated about little things or things that are real inside my head but aren't really real at all. I go from nice and calm to an uncontrollable raging ******* in the blink of an eye.

Anxiety is worrying that never stops. Its symptoms can be severe and include emotional, physical, and/or psychological manifestations. Here are some of the symptoms of my anxiety. I've read that people who have anxiety tend to have abnormal levels of neurotransmitters, which means their brains have trouble transmitting information on a cellular level.

Phobias, they're irrational fears of harmless things. Some of mine include the fear of being alone, spiders, shaving, showering, plant-based meat, and flying in airplanes. I'm also scared of food and drink that may contain soy. Soy is unique in that it contains a high concentration of isoflavones, a type of plant estrogen (phytoestrogen) that is similar in function to human estrogen. So, if you're a man and you want a beautiful pair of breasts, just keep sucking down those soy lattes. A popular men's health site, Breaking Muscle reports, "Soy is a potent androgen disruptor, and according to results of a study, men who consumed the largest amount of soy tend to have the lowest sperm counts. Sperm count is tied intimately with androgen levels, meaning that you should also expect to see lowered testosterone levels." Some studies say soy is bad and some say it isn't, I prefer to just be safe and avoid it. Here's a list of 10 foods that contain soy.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The most well-known example is obsessive hand-washing, but OCD can also involve other ritualistic behavior, such as deleting all my inbox email at the end of the day, all the sent mail, all my junk mail, and then all the deleted mail has to be deleted. I also believe everything has a place and it needs to be kept in its place. I have a small desk and I don't have a calendar and it's only because I tell myself that there isn't a place for a calendar, I know that's irrational but to this day I don't own a calendar. I'm going to get one in 2023 and try to hang it somewhere.

Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder where I'm scared to death and quickly panics in situations like: crowded places and places that I can't escape from like not having control over the ability to get away. When I'm in those situations I have panic attacks and I experience racing heart rate, breathing problem, chest pain, increased sweating, very dry mouth, and that kind of thing. I don't like taking pills and every medication has side effects and mixing all the pills for each ailment I have could be dangerous. I don't take any medication for agoraphobia, I just prefer to be alone, and even before the whole Covid thing I was pretty much a shut-in, I never leave my living area, I opt to stay indoors, I blacked out all the windows, not answer the door (I gave my family keys so they could just come in rather than knocking and expecting me to open the door.) I also doesn't answer my cellular phone unless the caller ID displays the name of someone I knows. (My voicemail says that I doesn't monitor my phone and to not leave a message. Do you want to hear it? Click here.) I really don't like going out in public. If I want to go shopping, I'll go to Wal-Mart® at 3am when the store is nearly empty or I'll order from Amazon® or Instacart®.

Schizoaffective Disorder is a mental health disorder that is marked by a combination of schizophrenia symptoms, such as hallucinations or delusions, and mood disorder symptoms, such as depression or mania. People with schizoaffective disorder may need assistance with daily stuff, like managing personal care, including cleanliness and physical appearance.

When I'm not taking my medication as prescribed, and that happens a lot, I used to think people were trying to harm me and that I needed to get them before they got me. Remember when the Islamic radicals were driving trucks into crowds of people? Here are a few examples:

1) 2016 Nice truck attack resulting in the deaths of 86 and injuring 458.
2) Muslim drives truck into crowd, murdering 4; Hamas celebrates.
3) Man planned to drive U-Haul truck into crowd in the name of islam.
4) CNN: 15 Terrorist attacks by vehicle.

I also fear the "lone wolf" attacks on people:

1) Wikipedia: List of lone wolf terrorist attacks.
2) ISIS releases new how-to guides for "lone-wolf" knife attacks.
3) Man plotted NYC "lone wolf" knife attack in name of islamic state.
4) Linking "lone-wolf" killers to islamic state magnifies the threat.

It was really hard for him, living in constant fear of someone hurting him or his family. Matthew became obsessed with killing them all, but through mental health counselling he was able to get out of that mindset.

I Need A Hand Up, Not A Hand Out

Please make a small monthly contribution that will help me get a small room in an adult foster care home where I can get diabetic meals, dementia care, medication management, transportation to medical appointments, and help with daily personal care. I just want to be happy, healthy, and as independent as possible.

Please pray with me. My mental and physical problems have reached the point of excess. I need your help. I can't do it alone. I've been considering suicide rather than continuing down the path of mental illness, poor health, and hopelessness. Please pray with me

If you can't afford to make a small monthly contribution, could you possibly help with a personal care item or some medical supplies off my Amazon® shopping list, then I could put aside more money myself.

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Oregon, hand up, hand out, need a hand up, suicide, death, I wish I was dead, Adventures With Purpose, Jared Leisek, Doug Bishop, Matthew Wells, Power of Prayer, God, Jesus, Ask for Help, Jesus loves you. sick, crippled, injured, mentally ill, prayer, ask for help, begging for money, adult foster care, Salem, Oregon, Salem Oregon, hand up, hand out, need a hand up, suicide, death, I wish I was dead, Adventures With Purpose, Jared Leisek, Doug Bishop, Matthew Wells, Power of Prayer, God, Jesus, Ask for Help, Jesus loves you. sick, crippled, injured, mentally ill, prayer, ask for help, begging for money, adult foster care, Salem, Oregon, Salem Oregon, hand up, hand out, need a hand up, suicide, death, I wish I was dead, Adventures With Purpose, Jared Leisek, Doug Bishop, Matthew Wells, Power of Prayer, God, Jesus, Ask for Help, Jesus loves you. sick, crippled, injured, mentally ill, prayer, ask for help, begging for money, adult foster care, Salem, Oregon, Salem Oregon, hand up, hand out, need a hand up, suicide, death, I wish I was dead, Adventures With Purpose, Jared Leisek, Doug Bishop, Matthew Wells, Power of Prayer, God, Jesus, Ask for Help, Jesus loves you. sick, crippled, injured, mentally ill, prayer, ask for help, begging for money, adult foster care, Salem, Oregon, Salem Oregon, hand up, hand out, need a hand up, suicide, death, I wish I was dead, Adventures With Purpose, Jared Leisek, Doug Bishop, Matthew Wells, Power of Prayer, God, Jesus, Ask for Help, Jesus loves you. sick, crippled, injured, mentally ill, prayer, ask for help, begging for money, adult foster care, Salem, Oregon, Salem Oregon, hand up, hand out, need a hand up, suicide, death, I wish I was dead, Adventures With Purpose, Jared Leisek, Doug Bishop, Matthew Wells, Power of Prayer, God, Jesus, Ask for Help, Jesus loves you. sick, crippled, injured, mentally ill, prayer, ask for help, begging for money, adult foster care, Salem, Oregon, Salem Oregon, hand up, hand out, need a hand up, suicide, death, I wish I was dead, Adventures With Purpose, Jared Leisek, Doug Bishop
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My mental and physical problems have reached the point of excess. I need your help. I can't do it alone. I've been considering suicide rather than continuing down the path of mental illness, poor health, and hopelessness. Please pray with me Please pray with me. My mental and physical problems have reached the point of excess. I need your help. I can't do it alone. I've been considering suicide rather than continuing down the path of mental illness, poor health, and hopelessness. Please pray with me Please pray with me. My mental and physical problems have reached the point of excess. I need your help. I can't do it alone. I've been considering suicide rather than continuing down the path of mental illness, poor health, and hopelessness. Please pray with me Please pray with me. My mental and physical problems have reached the point of excess. I need your help. I can't do it alone. 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My mental and physical problems have reached the point of excess. I need your help. I can't do it alone. I've been considering suicide rather than continuing down the path of mental illness, poor health, and hopelessness. Please pray with me Please pray with me. My mental and physical problems have reached the point of excess. I need your help. I can't do it alone. I've been considering suicide rather than continuing down the path of mental illness, poor health, and hopelessness. Please pray with me Please pray with me. My mental and physical problems have reached the point of excess. I need your help. I can't do it alone. I've been considering suicide rather than continuing down the path of mental illness, poor health, and hopelessness. Please pray with me Please pray with me. My mental and physical problems have reached the point of excess. I need your help. I can't do it alone. 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